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Ciaran88 escribió:This is what this album is going to be like, and if I'm wrong, well, I'm not going to be far off...

Six songs. One song will be about five minutes long. The rest will all exceed ten minutes with either the first song, or the last song passing the twenty minute mark.

This album will be rated higher than the last two because the songs are longer. mierda en barra fans would rate this album lower if this album was say twelve songs, even if the material is EXACTLY THE SAME/EVEN BETTER.

All the songs will be structured like this:

Intro

Riff One

Riff Two

Riff Three

Extended instrumental section where the band wanks around unfeasibly.

Reprise of Riff One

Outro.

The exceptions will be the five minute song (most likely a ballad) and possibly the extended piece.

The production will suck because Petrucci and Portney always mix the vocals far too high and the bass far too low.

Portneys drumming will be shit and devoid of talent as usual.

Rudess will have the same keyboard tone he's had for ten years. And will add absolutely nothing to the album as a whole.

LaBrie will make a lyrical reference to the recent economic downturn.

It will be overpriced at 23.99 at HMV.

I'll rate it between 1 and 1.5 stars.

Most mierda en barra fans will say its "NOT AS GOOD AS Images And Words, kinda...HOLY CRAP ONLY SIX SONGS...I LOVE THIS ALBUM"

And finally, with it, I will finish off the DT story trilogy (continuing on from my Train Of Thought review), NEVER to listen to this band or to review them again. Huzzah....


Edit 20th April 2009...Good god...I was fucking RIGHT!!

SUPER IMPORTANT EDIT 18TH MAY 2009
---------------------------------------------
After participating in a rigorous listening session for the past day or so, Ciaran52 has concluded that Black Clouds And Silver Linings is the worst album of the decade. The following is a top twelve countdown on why this is indeed the case.

12: Writing new songs is BORING!! Why don't we, instead of coming up with new riffs, just paste a pile of our older material together to make a new song? (sorry...composition...sorry...)We'll call it The Shattered Fortress!! Haha!! GREAT idea Mike! And we'll get away with it too...because its a part of a concept!!

The concept of Life!!!!

11: The fact that Petrucci tries to get all emotional on us by dryhumping Dave Gilmour's ENTIRE FUCKING GUITAR SOUND. THIS IS EMOTIONAL POWER. RAW OMNIPOTENT MUSIC. YOU SHITS SHOULD SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP CAUSE WE ARE TOTALLY SERIOUS!!!

10: The horrible, contrived album cover. Seriously, what the hell? What the fuck is that kid LOOKING at? (Aren't we such a deep and ambiguous band?) MOMMY? OH NO!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH DADDY...

Back pains mah lad...I have back pains...

Nah...I'm kidding.

I'm fucking NAILING your mom. And shes loving my glue over her face.

Yeah, lets call it glue.

9: "Took me for a ride, across the open countryside, get into my car, lets go for a drive, along the way ill be your guide just step inside".

Uh-huh. LaBrie thinks hes fucking Rihanna. Thats a turnup for the books right?

8: Mike Portneys grotesque use of cookie monster vocals on the opening piece. I honestly don't know whether to fucking laugh or cry.

7: James LaBries non too obvious biblical reference on Wither. Someones been READING after bed time...like the other guy on this page said...your music is BAD and you should FEEL bad...

6: The Best Of Times. The only point of its existence, is to provide keyboardist Jordan Ruddess with something to do. Might as well be a Spinal Tap, Lick My Love Pump piano piece...Also sporting a violin bit which sounds like it was played by myself..drunk..and lonely. Seriously lads, how much money is required to hire a mini string/orchestra thingey? ESPECIALLY when you're like the worlds biggest and richest prog metal band...

5: The insipid production. Pussy sounding guitars, tinny drums, and a load of stupid vocoder shit that will cause all the DT fans to cream themselves. Portney also likes to do the same "LOOK how unreal I am at the drums!" masturbation in every song. Hard to tell if the song is being played slowly or quickly as a result.

I could have sworn as well DT have a bassist...probably just me though....

4: The assiduous amount of self plagiarism that is all over this thing. Opening song? Glass Prison. Rite Of Passage? Home. Wither? The Spirit Carries On. Etc...etc.

3: The band having the fucking NERVE to rip off the I Get Up, I Get Down segment off Close To The Edge in the closing track. Wanna get up my ass? Then rip off the greatest segment of progressive rock in musical history. That'll show em...

Edit: Maybe it's more of a rip off of the Soon segment on Relayer. The way the acoustic guitar comes in as well..christ I dunno. Yes were good though.

2: Every chorus on the album: The singer sings in a derelict high falsetto thing, while Petrucci simply plays an octave higher than the previous riff. Linkin Park do the same thing. Listen to a Linkin Park outro. Same riff, higher octave. Shitheads. And when every song here is like fifteen minutes long....

1:The fact that Portney is still writing about the fact that he was an alcoholic 15 fucking years ago, and no one cares cause hes cured now and hes given himself up to a higher cause. It's tough on the top sure, with all the money and security you guys have. I appreciate that. Buts its a damn sight tougher on the bottom. The Shattered Fortress? Now THATS a bad song....

STANNN!!

STANNN!!

OH BLESSS YOU SIR!! BLESS YOU!!

To conclude this, I would like to say that DT are wankers, and their music is corporate trash for people who dislike normal everyday pieces of corporate trash. Linkin Park for nerds. Psuedo intellectuals who discuss the significance of The Da-Vinci code (JESUS HAD A FUCKING CHILD!!!) while complaining that Captain Kirk has a dodgy haircut in the new Star Trek movie. Whatever respect I had for DT in the past, I have absolutely none now.

If you like this album and you are NOT one of the following:

Under 16

Going through an emotional time when all music is good and easy to get attached to...

A member of this five man wankathon, or a relation/close friend...

AND if you like this album...

Then I have lost all respect for you as a human being. And yes, that does make me a gaping asshole. The very few friends I have mistake me for Jimmy McNulty all the time...

bass-xtreem escribió:Pues a mi me molan todos sus trabajos, incluso este último.
La mayor pega que le pongo al grupo es que esa voz no me mola mucho, demasiado limpia para mi.